Posted 1 day ago
Posted 1 week ago

Diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, yatta yatta

I have none of these things, but the most “fit”, weight-concerned, and “healthy-looking" people in my family do. Wow, isn’t that strange? I did not gain weight over the years—I have always been fat, which means in this case beyond the prescribed height-weight range for society’s standards of what is visually appealing and acceptable.

The biggest question of the day when I go to a doctor’s appointment is Why are you fat? in the form of “diet options”.

The night is still young. I can still be diagnosed with something to make all the FAT-HATING BIGOTS feel justified in putting their shit in my inbox and even then I’d still be doing what I do and being as fat as I am at the time.



Posted 1 week ago

I’ve writtens dozens, hundreds of posts even….

What makes these hate mail trolls think I remember what post they read?

And even if I did, why would I waste my time talking to them about it???

Posted 2 weeks ago

Fat Posi Sci-Fi/Spec Fic

Before I deleted Fatter than Fiction, a tumblog for fat creative artists to share their work (low submissions, low following, guess it was too small a niche or people didn’t care or didn’t know about it), I was serializing a sci-fi/speculative fiction/erotic romance short story featuring a fat woman of color as the main character.

I thought I’d never finish the story and it t took a lot for me to go back to it after FTF was such a “failure” in some regards. But I am back on this short story, being a serious writer and what not. Guess what though?

I still ain’t finished. But I’m very close. Most of the final bits are already written, I even added a new character who is being a doctor instead of making dire predictions about the main character’s health and trying to get her to go to another planet where breathing the air induces weight loss or something.

Since I’m self-publishing now, I have started outlining a collection named after that blog. However, I want to include this particular story in a collection strictly for erotic romance.

Problem is, I can’t seem to finish it. I think it has something to do with the main character, Micah, having a happy ending, or at least happy for right now ending. Fat girls are supposed to lose weight, get thin privilege, get with the program, and then (and only then) get the guy/love interest. That’s usually how it works, if it works at all for a fat woman. Right?

The only stories I’ve ever read about fat women/people: 

  1. includes them losing weight,for happiness,
  2. wastes a ton of time euphemizing their fatness,(She was round-faced but pretty, Poor pathetic fat lump but he had a heart of gold),
  3. using fatness as utility (at least the fatty serves a purpose or is useful—right, right),
  4. fetishizes fat people’s bodies
  5. humiliates, degrades, sometimes even torments the fat person right up until the very end,
  6. uses fatness as synonymous with wealth (because a portly fellow must of course be eating well and living the good life to be that fat),
  7. uses fat characters as a foil to thin characters (Dudley Dursley/Harry Potter)
  8. the writer plays the pity-the-fatty, they’re-beautiful-on-the-inside card,
  9. uses fatness as a metaphor for all society’s failings of infrastructure and decay of moral fiber (Wall-E, Rowling’s Harry Potter),
  10. or focuses entirely on the fat person’s appetite and hunger/need to eat. Because a fat person’s existence can be about nothing but consumption and the need and desire to consume.

I’m going to try to finish my story in one shot and just let it be what it is instead of being confused by its atypical nature. It hard because I’ve constantly had to ask myself what a fat positive story looks like to me, especially when I’ve never seen or read one before.

Posted 3 weeks ago


[image description: Ambrosia sits in a chair, phot is taken from the side. wearing a black top with netted detail and black underwear]

This is me BigBaby reinvented or Ambrosia a 33 year old single mother with the will to pursue her dreams the strength to raise her family and the beauty to show that being fat is not nasty or ugly it is sexy and powerful!

Posted 1 month ago

Looked at myself naked in the mirror today. Didn’t hear anyone else’s hate in my head this time, just thoughts on why I had any negative feels.

Posted 1 month ago
Posted 1 month ago


bunny eating rasberries



Posted 1 month ago


it’s interesting but also terrifying to see the ways that capitalism has shaped our language and how we talk about bodies. can you be useful? can you be a productive member of society? can you work? can you make money? that is all this comes back to. so much ableist and fat phobic rhetoric is, at its core, does your body enable you to produce capital. if not, then you are useless and don’t deserve humanity. 

Posted 1 month ago

Its not like I never thought “Wouldn’t my life be just a tiny bit easier if I lost weight? Wouldn’t people think I was pretty instead of ‘pretty for a fat girl’? Wouldn’t I be more comfortable watching the endless parade of thin and “curvy” Black women on my dashboard every time I get online?”

But I’m afraid of the truth. The scary truth that I have no actual plans of losing weight.

Posted 1 month ago
Posted 1 month ago

Motivational Speakers—please can the weight loss analogies!

Its really hard to lose weight if you think of yourself as a fat person that is lazy. —Jeff Goins

I get it—weight loss is trendy, America is fat and now that the capitalists and fitspo goons have built up the momentum to carry all the brainwashed sheep people to a preferred level of fitness, there’s no stopping it.

But please, PLEASE, can the weight loss analogies, people. Just stop it.

Here’s the story: At some prompting from Write to Done, yesterday I participated in the Four Keys to Building a Powerful Online Audience webinar featuring Jeff Goins. I kind if knew it was coming because I’ve heard many motivational speakers go there but during this time, about two hours or so, he used at least two weight loss/fitspo analogies. Honestly, I was more worried about the fact that my published books are going to be very lonely, according to Jeff Goins, because I don’t like social networking—however, his words didn’t escape my notice.

Jeff Goins was not being malicious but weight loss analogies during a speech that’s supposed to help people are still annoying and a definite turnoff. If weight loss is your goal, is what I think he meant, as analogous to affirming yourself as a writer, However, his intention is not really the point. It goes to show that people really don’t think about the exclusion of oppressed groups when they’re doing something for money, or when they’re just bigots, undercover or otherwise. For example, I once sat in a room full of white people with a Black writer as the guest speaker and the head of the Creative Writing program—a white woman—compared slavery to the use of cars. My favorite.

Because enslaving African/Black peoples is exactly like using your car to get to work in terms of convenience.


Jeff Goings says say it in 5 words because if you can’t it in 5 then you can’t say it in 500. Here it goes:

Fitspo analogies are annoying—stop!